Why have a long engagement?

For all of you brides that are stressing and thinking that the wedding will never get here… just stop! It will be here before you know it! I spent 18 months thinking the wedding was still light years away. I kept getting stressed and worried that I was rushing things, then with a month left I wanted to cry all the time because I was so stressed after procrastinating for the past 17 months and putting everything off! Once May hit, I was ready to be done! I wanted nothing to do with wedding planning and was so relieved the day after because I was finally in a position where I never had to think about the wedding in that type of way ever again. It doesn’t seem possible that after 18 months of planning and stressing, we finally pulled it off…and it was perfect! Everything I hoped and imagined it would be!

“Why did you have a long engagement?” is a question I get asked a lot, and I will tell you why! TIME, MONEY and OUR PLAN! I knew I had wanted to marry Joe for a very long time so it wasn’t that I was worried I would get cold feet, it was just the way I had envisioned my wedding day since I was 12, would take a lot longer than a couple months to pull off! Also, we needed time to figure out what we could realistically afford, I wanted a huge fancy cake, a super fancy meal, and twinkling lights everywhere! However, could we afford any of that? Absolutely not, and I knew that! So we needed time to save for the things we could afford. We didn’t want our families or ourselves to go into debt for our big day! So we opted for less expensive things and cut corners in numerous ways. For most things, you can set up a payment plan, and I think that’s were some get into trouble. I know we struggled with it. My dress, cake, venue, and photographer, are things you can make payments on as long as the final payment is due 2 weeks before the wedding or whatever they have set up for you. We would think “we have plenty of time to pay this off”, so when it came time to make the final payment, we were in trouble. The last reason we had a long engagement was because of our 3 year plan… or more like my 3 year plan! Lol I wanted to be together for at least 2 years before we were engaged and then be engaged and planning a wedding for at least 1 year. I’ve known Joe for 15 years, but that was as my best friend not my boyfriend. So when we started dating I wanted to get to know who he was as my boyfriend before he became my fiancé or husband. When you get engaged everything changes, the fact that you are going to be moving out of your childhood home or your last name is going to change forever is nerve wracking to think about. I had been dreaming about my wedding for 12 years, but as soon as he put a ring on my finger the dream became real.  I also wanted both of us to be done with college and have a job we both loved going to before we got married. In 2015, Joe received his certificate for Welding in December and I received my certificate for Wedding & Event Planning in September so that worked out perfectly. The reason for that is money. The thought of us still paying off student loans and beginning a marriage in debt, scared me. Thankfully Joe and I were able to pay off school by December and have that debt off of our plates so we could focus on the wedding.

Now plans change and there’s really nothing you can do about it but I was determined to get as far as I could with making them work. It is so easy to lose track of who you are and what your dreams are when planning a wedding…bridezilla is a real thing. There are many times I got mad at Joe and my mom for disagreeing with something I wanted to do at the ceremony or when they would tell me we couldn’t afford that decoration piece, but in the end I’m so thankful they told me “no”! We would not be where we are financially if it wasn’t for them!


Enjoy, and have a blessed day!

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